Natural Beginnings
Our Journey to Home Birth
Over the last few months - since sharing snippets of my personal wellness journey, many women have reached out to me with questions about fertility, feminine wellness, natural pregnancy and free-birth.
Over on our Instagram a few months ago I shared the story of my wellness journey. I went from experiencing agonising menstruation & infertility to naturally conceiving and free-birthing 3 healthy babies in 5 years.
Sisters asked me - how did I come to a place of such ‘knowing’ - that I could seemingly effortlessly birth all my babies unassisted and without the support of the conventional medical system at all.
How did I learn about herbs that would be so deeply healing? How did I cultivate such trust in myself?
How did I cope with the pain of labour with no painkillers?
Women have asked me about herbal supports through conception, pregnancy and labour, how to heal themselves from painful, heavy menstrual bleeding, ovarian cysts, fibroids, hormonal imbalances, ectopic pregnancy and other birth or feminine health complications.
With each woman who so courageously opened up to me and shared their struggles, it become more and more clear to me, that I have to share my personal experiences.
Through healing my own chronic menstrual pain, ridding myself of fibroids and PCOS and rebalancing my hormones I arrived at a place where I felt empowered and had a deep trust in myself, my babies and Creation to bring forth new life in the most simple, natural, sovereign way.
Unassisted, free birth in the presence of no-one except family.
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But to get to the story of birthing our first baby, I have to regress and lay the foundations, because it hasn’t been an easy road.
For many years from the time I was in my early teens all the way until I was 25 years old and conceived our first baby girl, I struggled with severe menstrual pain, immunity problems, digestive issues, stress, anxiety and depression.
My father died when I was 17 after many years of suffering with cancer and heart disease which left me shattered, confused and severely depressed.
I rebelled and spent the initial 5 years following his death in a vicious, self-destructive cycle of trying to fill the emptiness I felt with heavy drinking, party drugs and empty romantic encounters. I ate terrible food, worked long hours in the hospitality industry and did very little to nurture myself, fuel my creativity or fulfil my spiritual calling.
Fast forward to 2014 When I met my husband Kush, I instantly knew that I wanted to become a mother. Up until then I had developed a repulsion for children and had no patience for their snotty noses and dirty little hands.
But when I felt the boundlessness of this love that we had found in each other, everything shifted. I all of a sudden found myself staring at other peoples children as they played in the sand and became fascinated with childbirth.
At the time I had been deemed ‘infertile’. My periods were extremely painful to the point I couldn’t leave the house for days, always called in sick for work and would spend day 2 & 3 of my cycle every month writhing in pain or curled up in the shower.
I now know this was a direct result of the extremely toxic lifestyle I had chosen. If I was to conceive a baby and live a happy, healthy life - I had to heal myself. Because doctors and even alternative medicine practitioners were not providing me with any answers that I wanted to hear.
For the next two years I delved deep into my studies of Yoga. I completed my Yoga Teacher Training in South India and this was the first time that I detoxed my physical body. I stopped drinking coffee and alcohol, stopped consuming meat, animal products and unnatural foods and began my journey of holistic natural wellness.
I made simple, but profound and consistent lifestyle changes that propelled me into a heightened and rapid state of healing. I was moving my body with love and intention, learning to cultivate my life force energy through practices of the mind, body and breath and delving deep into meditation. I delved into the study of herbs and have continued this self-driven study until this very day. An endless well of knowledge is available when we allow ourselves to receive it.
We conceived our first baby, on the January full moon of 2017. After I had experienced the first completely pain-free period of my life. No cramps, no pain, no intense mood swings. Just an easy bleed - so easy in fact that on day 2 of my bleed I bled through my clothes as I joined in an African dance workshop at a festival we were attending. This was absolutely unheard of for me in the past and a clear affirmation that I was truly healing myself.
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Before even conceiving our baby, we had decided that we would embark on a completely natural home-birthing experience. My mother home-birthed my younger sister when I was 4 years old and so birthing my baby on my own terms was never a foreign concept to me. It always felt like a normal thing and I intuitively knew that I would do the same.
This first pregnancy was a rollercoaster ride of immense highs and plummeting lows. It cracked me wide open and forced me to face some of the darkest parts of myself that I had unconsciously been avoiding my entire life. It was the most healing and transformative time of my life up until this point.
I educated myself on the physiology of natural birth, I connected closely with an elder woman who became my beacon of knowledge & support. She became our birth keeper and dear friend.
I delved deep into books on natural childbirth and learned about how women in all different cultures choose to birth their babies - from highly medicalised planned cesarian births to women birthing babies on the bare earth of remote, Middle-Eastern nomadic villages.
My awareness and love of the female form grew and with this, so did my confidence and trust in myself, my baby and The Most High - Creation.
My first pregnancy was (physically) incredibly smooth. I didn’t experience any sickness or physical discomfort whatsoever. I continued my Yoga practice right up until the day I gave birth. I delved deeply into my inner world and leant on the practices of the mind, body and breath that I’d learned through the years of studying Yoga. I cultivated my own practices, I began to weave prayer and intention into my every day and I felt confident, calm and well equipped to birth our baby.
At around midnight - 2am on the 6th October 2017 (The morning after our ‘due date’) I felt the first sensations that signalled labour had begun. I wasn’t sure if these feelings was actual labour beginning or not, so I stayed in bed, let my husband sleep and used my breath to manage the discomfort that was slowly beginning to build. At around 3 am I called Jenny - our birth-keeper. She confirmed that labour was well under way and said she would begin the 1.5 hour journey to our house in the Australian bush by the time dawn broke.
Between the hours of 3 and 6am I called Kush from his slumber and excitedly stated that ‘it was about to happen!’
He rose from bed, made tea and drew a hot bath for me while he prepared our birth space and filled the birthing pool.
I had requested to have candles, grapes, coconut water and avocado toast on hand through my labour. My mother and sister stayed at home with us that day and tended to my hunger and thirst, played music and provided Kush with the herbal support of the holy herb that was growing in our garden.
At about 7am Jenny arrived, I had descended into ‘active labour’ - signalled only by the fact that I no longer felt like I wanted to speak between ‘surges’. I had moved into the birthing pool and I knew I had to harness all my energy, go inward and block out the world around me.
I was truly in that place between worlds, the bridge between this realm and eternity, my spirit calling to the heavens while my feet were planted firmly on the earth. I was in communion with our baby, knowing and trusting that she would come home to us when she was ready.
At no time during labour did our birth keeper ‘check’ anything. Not to see how dilated I was, not to check the babies heartbeat, not to administer any kind of pain relief.
She and I barely exchanged words, but silently communicated with each other through our intuition and the inner knowings we both felt simultaneously. She was a fly on the wall. Observing, holding space and ‘there’ if I needed her.
When my body instinctively began to ‘push’ she knew birth was imminent. She gently knelt down beside the edge of the pool and said “that one was different wasn’t it?”. I had barely nodded my head when the next spontaneous urge to push came through me like a fierce, but steady wave. By this time I had called Kush to come into the pool. I squeezed his shoulders and hands as each wave came over me heavier and heavier. He knelt behind me now and supported me as I spontaneously moved forward onto all fours. He breathed as I breathed and all of a sudden the babies head emerged.
At this point Jenny said to me “This is the time to be soft. Let go.” With all my will and strength I did what she said. I let go. I completely surrendered. I allowed myself to melt into nothingness. With immense trust and focus on nothing but my breath and the softening of my body - I released any and all tension that had crept in throughout this labour and I was there - leaning forward, crouched over, leaning on my hands in full surrender.
I did nothing. I didn’t make a sound. I didn’t push. My body did - without my control. A higher force came over me, through me and ushered the rest of our babies’ body through the birth canal and into her father’s waiting hands. It was about 8.30am.
Our first meeting of this precious little soul who chose us to be her parents was like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. Relief mixed with boundless joy, slippery awkward hands, shock and exhaustion.
We did it!
With the next surge my body pushed again and her placenta was born.
For the next few hours and probably the rest of the day we did nothing but relish in the sweetness of our baby girl. Jenny busied herself with making pumpkin soup, my mother and sister were there all the while floating in and out and we all relived this incredible experience over and over again - recounting all the details and events that lead us here to this blissful moment. Curled up together on the outdoor bed in my mothers shed - now a family of 3.
I didn’t experience a vaginal tare in this birth, or my two consecutive birthing experiences to follow. I emerged from birth completely ‘intact’, peaceful sovereign and most importantly empowered.
If you’ve also experienced birthing a baby - whether it was in a hospital, at home or anywhere else - you know that ecstatic feeling of empowerment. The one that tells you, you literally CAN do anything you set your mind to.
You literally have the power to CREATE and birth LIFE. So there’s no way in the world that you are incapable of anything whatsoever. If you’ve climbed the mountain of birth, you are equipped to scale and conquer any mountain, hurdle or obstacle life throw’s at you.
That’s the magic of birth. That’s the magic of creation energy. That’s the magic of being a woman.
I have grown more comfortable over time, but it is also no an easy thing to share so openly and vulnerably in such a public way. But it is my hope and prayer that women are inspired by these words. It is my hope and prayer that you feel empowered enough in your own life to first make the choice to birth your baby in complete sovereignty no matter what that looks like for you.
But to get to this place of trust and surrender does take work. I won’t pretend it’s a walk in the park - because it isn’t!
But this is where I can help you.
Stay connected with me over the coming weeks and months as I share more about my free-birthing experiences, healing herbs for feminine health and specialised Yoga practices for pre-conception, pregnancy, birth and beyond.
It truly does take a village to raise children, and I believe it takes a village of support to raise ourselves too. Let us be your village!
Join us over on Instagram here or our mailing list here where I will be sending updates, gifts and free practices for your healing journey.
More love,
Irie